525,600 minutes

It would be nice if addictions weren't so addicting, you know?
this looks like a pattern anyway:
1 month, cave
2 months, cave
3 months, cave
next: 4 months. and i will probably cave again.
my stupid ocd thoughts
have been screaming nonstop in my head for the past couple of weeks
and it is so hindering
i really hate being all messed up.
seriously, why can't i be normal?
just felt like ranting to the interwebs.
since no one will really look much into this anyway.
it's always nice to get it off your chest, eh?
also, the game.
also, eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh.

I Did It

i got enough courage to...
do this.
tomorrow.
i can't wait, like seriously.
i am flipping over the top excited
happy crazy amazing everything!
i love her so much.
and hopefully tomorrow i'll have a girlfriend. :]
<3

I Want To

If i had wanted to i would have

what a bunch of bullshit that is

i do want to i'm just not brave enough

to change the way things are

i'm a coward and you know it

but i guess i'll just burn

with the other things you light up and smoke

Sleepless Nights

i can't sleep because my legs are so jittery
and my back is killing me
and i wrote 7 new poems today
all about how abby and sam aren't my friends anymore.
according to abby
i'm an attention seeking oblivious bitch who needs to get her act together because my attitude is making her fucking sick.
i thought i knew her and i thought she wasn't like this.
i guess i was wrong.
i hate not being there for anyone.